so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
