I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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