I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
