hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Houston, we have a blender
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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