Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
