She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize