Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
