How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
