Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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