ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
