I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
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