He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
