I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Found your dick twin last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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