I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize