Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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