haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Liz is crying about burritos again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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