As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do herpes really smell.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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