Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize