Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If that was your dad, he is hot
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize