When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize