when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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