"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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