You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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