God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yo dont text me then not text me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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