Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
