i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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