Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
