I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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