im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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