NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
