apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize