I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
