Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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