really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
