She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
