I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
