next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
