My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize