Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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