after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
