The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
