i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
