He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
