I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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