i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
