just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
