he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
