i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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