i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize