how can u be prego again
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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