Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize