Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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