dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have post one night stand depression
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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