just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
