Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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