I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
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I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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