I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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