dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
