I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
