butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
